Siouxsie’s reMembering, or The Little Red Hen, My Aunt Jeanie

Do you remember this story? No one would help the Little Red Hen with any of the jobs that needed to be done, so she just up and did them herself. This was my Aunt Jeanie.

Born the youngest of 4 children into the unending work of the life of farmers, Jeanie grew up and married a local boy. Wednesday of this week, her life ended after a short battle with cancer.

Last night, I had the opportunity to spend a little time at the local laundromat. Needed to wash a couple of those oversized items. As I waited for the machines to do their jobs, I had a flashback to Aunt Jeanie’s laundry room. The men’s bluejeans got really dirty in the fields and she would wash them with PineSol in the washer. Something about that smell and the memory of her laundry room reminded me of the work she did from morning to night, taking care of her family, feeding the men in the field, hosting her out-of-town nieces for the summer, contributing to her little community and church.

When a teen girl got pregnant in their little town, and the church refused to allow her baby shower to be held in the church facility, Aunt Jeanie went to work advocating for this girl’s shower to be able to be held there. She was persuasive, thankfully. Of COURSE the shower should be held at the church. I think it’s that love thing in action.

And that’s what I remember about her. She was love in action. And I’m so glad I was a recipient of that love and that I was able to love her in return.

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In Which Siouxsie’s All Like “Methinks Siouxsie’s Last Post was too Subtle and Obtuse"

In honor of three of my family members attending CincyShakes’ MacBeth today, I used “methinks” in the title of this post.

In response to a panicked comment by Anonymous: Bacon isn’t the problem in Intentional OVEReating. It’s just one of many. Stay tuned for more on Intentional EATING and I think you will be pleasantly and baconly surprised. Oh, and if you DO open a restaurant called “All Things Bacon” I hope you will have pictures of Kevin as well as the pork version. I’ll be glad to review your place once it’s open.

Now, students, if I may have your attention up here at the board.



Because I am such a PROfessional at Intentional Overeating, I felt it important to give you that background first. Intentional Overeating is most definitely not the way to conquer your diet.

The best way to conquer your diet is to stop having a diet mentality in the first place.

This is not to say that you should commence stuffing your face with all manner of doughnuts and potato chips. That is not conquering, not to mention your stomach will hurt for awhile and then you’ll be ready to do it again in a day or so.

The diet mentality is all about control and restriction.

Intentional Eating is about, ready?

1. Eat when you are hungry.
2. Stop when you are full.

Those are not rules, even if they start to feel like it. When a baby nurses or takes a bottle, she drinks the milk until she is full and then she stops. She doesn’t have a rule about it, she just does it.

But the magical part about Intentional Eating is that you de-criminalize all foods. The IE crowd calls it “legitimizing” foods. I haven’t tried that as a process yet, but the first step is a paradigm shift.

I love pizza. Yes I do. I love pizza. How ‘bout you?

But I also have had a belief that eating pizza is BAD. BAD. BAD. Pizza should not be eaten by me. I, as a person, should not eat pizza. Eating pizza is not an activity I should partake in.

What does that thinking do? Makes me want pizza more than anything in the world.

But how about this? I can eat pizza if I want to. In a pizza establishment, should I wish to eat some pizza, that is just fine. Eating pizza is just an activity, not a benchmark for my worth and value as a person. So, hey, eat pizza if it’s what you want when you’re hungry. And then stop eating pizza when you’re full. Be aware of what you’re feeling and what you’re doing.

I’m pretty good at diets. I can restrict myself and even do it perfectly. Problem is, once the diet is over, there’s still pizza everywhere I look and eventually I can’t hold out anymore. And, personally, I am sick and tired of being so hard on myself.

At a store a few days ago, I was returning an item. A very distracted clerk was helping me. One of the things that was distracting her was her lunch plans. “I want White Castle today. I know they are the worst thing in the world to eat, though.” And do you think she was comfortable in her body? Maybe. I wouldn’t have been. She weighed 300 pounds. What would happen to her weight if White Castle was just another food that she could have it she was hungry? She might just find out that she didn’t really care for them, or maybe eat a couple and be satisfied, because she’d know she could have it again, no problem.

Remember, I’m an expert on this now, having followed this idea for 48 hours. Nah, I’m not an expert, just a regular person who’s convinced that there is more to life than following rules. I want to enjoy my life and now seems like as good a time as any to start. And I’m also convinced that life is a process and we learn as we go. I’ve had enough self-recriminations to last three lifetimes.

It’s time to begin living my life joyfully and playfully, even in the area of food. As Julian of Norwich said, "…All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well.”


Selah.

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Siouxsies Munching! Or How to Conquer That Diet!

I am a practitioner, a devotee, an advocate, a student of Intentional Eating. Having followed this philosophy for some 24 hours now, I am a veteran with much wisdom to share.

**See below for text of this food pyramid.


Before I share that much wisdom, I should tell you about my previous practice, Intentional Overeating. Practiced by many, I was not even surprised to learn the following statistics of people following IO:

Stay-at-home moms: 99.890467%
Basketball players, limousine drivers, Doormen, Supermodels, Jerry Seinfeld, Campfire Girls: .000023%
All others: .000000001%

Does that add up to about 100%?

Intentional Overeating has several interesting, and sometimes contradictory, tenets:

1. Intend to do better tomorrow.
2. Eat a lot of this bad food since it is definitely going to be the last time.
3. Never ever buy non-organic meat in the grocery store, but turn a blind eye to the meat at Wendy’s.
4. Really really intend to do better tomorrow.
5. Feel bad about every bite that goes into your mouth.
a. Bad food should make you feel bad because you are bad for eating it.
b. Good food should make you feel bad because you aren’t eating enough of it.
c. Neutral food should make you feel bad because you preferred bad food but couldn’t find any.
6. Be very sorry you overate and vow not to do it again.
7. Wish you had the decency to at least have an actual eating disorder instead of skirting the issue.
8. Know you are fat at all times, no matter what size you are wearing.
9. Follow the Intentional Overeaters Food Pyramid perfectly never mind it isn’t complete. Do it.

** All Foods that are unacceptable to eat because they are bad. These include all foods that taste good and every single food you want to eat. Also included are foods with protein, carbs, or fats. And meat. French fries. Pizza. Lord knows. Pizza. Dessert. Dessert menus. Food that is fun. Fried food. Partially hydrogenated oils. Trans fats. Foods that claim to have no trans but must because they taste good. Comfort foods. Foods from your childhood. Restaurant food. Bagels. Muffins. Oh God doughnuts. Foods that come from a bakery. Foods not on the perimeter of the grocery store. Foods that will cause your blood sugar to spike! Anything that makes in your mouth. Anything that melts in your mouth. Food like Grandma used to make. Bacon. Cheese.


10. Intend to do better by Monday for sure.


So, the first step in conquering that diet is DO NOT FOLLOW THE RULES FOR INTENTIONAL OVEREATING. They’re a dead-end. More to come.

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Siouxsie’s Moving! or How to Nail a Presentation

Maybe not in the way you think. We’re not moving to a new house or state or anything. The movement is more of a mental shift. That title just flowed, so I went with it. Y’know. Art and creativity and all.

I’ve been reading ALL KINDS OF completely cool stuff that has just been making my brain throw off sparks. Recently, I learned about three types of blogs, the first of which was called “cat blogs.” These are blogs that are just for the writer, and their 5 readers, and are basically online journal entries. Siouxsie’s Musings has been functioning largely as a cat blog, hasn’t it? Yes, indeed.

The other two types of blogs are called SOMETHING ELSE that I can’t remember, but the gist of them was a little more outward-focused. So, I thought I’d give this blog more of an informational-yet-oh-so-entertaining feel. Let’s give it a try ....

What prompted this post was the privilege this morning of observing Anna-Jessie present her Country Project in her geography class. But, how many million homeschool/proud-of-my-kid/this-was-fun posts do we suppose are already on the internet? And no matter how witty or wise this one is, in the end on my cat blog it would just be another one of those posts.

BUT WAIT!

As I drove away after the class, I was reflecting on the experience. Several students did presentations, and you’d expect me to say that Anna-Jessie’s was the best (it was, of course), but again, what if there was something in this experience that I could teach others?

There is!!

How to Nail a Presentation

1. Start on the project early. I heard two students this morning tell the teacher they have not even started their project yet and they must present one week from today. Sure, most people can throw something together in a week, and depending on other responsibilities, may even be able to put together a stunning presentation. Those who start early have time to enjoy the process, refine ideas, get some feedback, practice the speech, and figure out the logistics of any papers or visual aids (more on this in number 4 below).

2. Love the one you’re with. Maybe you have to present on an assigned subject, rather than being able to choose it yourself. Find a way to enjoy the process of THIS project. How can you include subjects or activities you love into the project? Anna-Jessie loves art and she loves to cook. She made a creative and colorful presentation, as you can see above, and her country food was something she truly enjoyed making. Another example from this morning: the student who presented on Japan brought some “green tea chocolate balls.” I spoke with him and his mother afterward, and they both had pained grimaces as they explained what the food was, and I wondered why they made something that sounded gross to them, and ended up tasting, uh, interesting to the uninitiated. And how about the young man who walked in and said, “My country food is noodles and they smell really bad.” Figuring out a way to enjoy the process will not only enhance your preparation experience, but also your presentation and the experience of those listening to you.

3. Look! There are people out there! When the presenter has facial expressions that are not carved in stone, when there is a spark in the eye, and when those eyes look at the audience, the presentation is more fun to give and to listen to. Without adequate practice, presenters sometimes present the back of their head, or the top of their head, or keep their eyes absolutely glued to their notes. Talk to your audience!

4. Figure out logistics.Thinking of an example from this morning, does your presentation flow better if you can pick up the cool Russian hat from the table right next to you? How does that compare to a. realizing you need the hat and it’s back at your desk, b. stopping the presentation to walk the 8 feet to your desk to get said hat, c. picking up hat and returning to front of room, d. talking about hat?

5. Practice ahead of time! Make sure you know how to pronounce difficult or unusual words. Vary the words you use to start sentences or sections. Avoid simply reciting facts, especially when they include numbers. A student this morning gave a statistic this morning to the TEN-THOUSANDTHS place. It wasn’t a microscopic measurement - it was a percentage of the population who live in a certain area. I would have been ok with him rounding it off.

And there you have it. 5 simple preparation tips to help you pwn that presentation!

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The Ocean's Response

1. Ride the waves.

2. Enjoy the ride.

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Do Not Blog While Grumpy

This is probably sound advice.

I think I've been on Facebook too much lately.

I'm realizing that I am not getting any more used to all the profanity, homosexual banter, and angry rantings. Rather, I am finding that I feel like I am taking a bath in very dirty water. Now, what to do with this dilemma. I actually care about the people I am friends with on Facebook. Want to be a warm and accepting person in re other people. Just wondering how it came to be that unwholesome (now there's an old-fashioned word) communication is apparently not only acceptable but even preferable.

When I think of parents that I have looked up to, I know they would not want their children to be using profanity regularly and lightly, joking in relatively graphic terms about homosexual topics, and dismissing the world or parts thereof with acerbic, bitter, or caustic comments. Of course, most of the parents I look up to were heavy into parenting BEFORE the Facebook era. (BFE)

I want my children and other young adults i love to care about protecting the sensibilities of others by caring about what they are posting. The ocean comes to mind, since i am on the beach. i stood in the waves yesterday and felt their strong pull -- both shoreward and out to sea. I could no more stop those waves than I could create the ocean. So, digging my heels in to stop the waves wouldn't have the desired outcome. I do get weary of "going with the flow" all the time, but there must be a sense in which taking a stand for a minute, to at least stand strong against the waves, can have an affect on me, even if the waves do not stop. The whole analogy, for those who cannot read my mind, is about the tidal wave of language on Facebook, both word choice and usage.

Do other parents intentionally steer clear of their kids' Facebook pages so as not to know, keeping their head in the sand, as it were? I hate the feeling of sand in my ears, eyes, mouth and nose, so that doesn't really work for me. Do other parents steer clear of their kids' Facebook pages because they believe "kids will be kids" and the kind of communication happening on Facebook is just fine?

So what do I want? I want to be in communication with my own kids and their friends. And I'm realizing that just reading status updates is not being in communication, even if it may be what passes for communication these days. I suppose it's up to me what I read on Facebook, as I do have options to hide and de-friend people. And I want to be an actor, an originator, not just a receptor and reactor.

As usual, this blog entry helped me think through what it is I want, and I just shared it with those few people who also read this blog. Never a dull moment for those who are simply trying to live life as people who love and care about others.

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There's a Reason Why People Always ...

write about the sea.

Between Hemingway and Melville and lots of other people, plenty has been written about the ocean, so I hardly think I'm going to add anything particularly original here, but the ocean is just so rife with meaning and beauty and grace and experience.

Man, I love the ocean. I love the expanse. I love the depth. I love the Mariana Trench. I love the waves and the tides and the beach and the sand. I love the lantern fish. It's all just really beautiful.

I know. I wax eloquent. But I got to introduce Kepler to the ocean today. I remember when our older kids saw the ocean for the first time and that was a sweet time, but Kepler's experience is quite a bit more present to me.

I think of the ocean like I think of love. When you experience genuine love, you want more and more of it, like the ocean. The ocean draws you in little by little like love does. The ocean is wild and dangerous and exciting, like love is. Love, like the ocean, has meaning and beauty and grace and experience. And there ya go. Love and the ocean. Both irresistible. Both larger than life.

Think I figured it out.

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