Button, Button, Who's Got the Doggone Kroger Card Report?

I am drowning in paper. If it's not the 9 foot long library receipt, it's the six inch long receipts from Kroger and Office Max and Walgreen's and Lowe's (no, wait, Lowe's receipts are always at least two feet long even if you only buy one thing), Michael's, Target, and if it's not the receipts, it's the wonderful magazines and articles that are crying to be read or the papers I need to keep track of for reimbursements and rebates and returns, and if it's not the articles and rebate forms, it's the adorable pictures and papers drawn and written by my children over the course of their combined 53 years and as you know, FIFTY-THREE YEARS of accumulation is a LONG time.

So, how to get a handle on this situation? I have papers in every nook and cranny, on every flat surface, and in every drawer and file. And, to top it all off, the Kroger report, that I REALLY NEED, is missing. I sort of remember it coming in the mail, and I maybe put it on top of the microwave, and then alertly moved it to the other counter, then alertly put it in the family room when I cleaned off the counter, etc., etc. The problem is, I DO have a Kroger Card file into which I really think I would have put such a thing.

Please, dear readers, all thousand of you, please give me your most pithy, succinct way to get this paper avalanche under control. Oh, by the way, I DO throw a lot of things away. Help Help Help!!

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