How to Delegate Your Parenting to a Disney Character

Delegate: entrust (a task or responsibility) to another "person," typically one who is less senior than oneself.

I'm a big fan of animated films, and have been known to be moved to tears in more than one that I've seen. I love the clever dialogue, and the colorful visuals. It must be a lot of fun to work on such a project. One of my favorites in recent years is Big Hero 6.

Big Hero 6 was the first movie we took Kepler to see at the theater and he loved it. I loved the movie, but loved even more watching his whole-body response to the movie. He laughed, he cheered, he stood up and danced. We went to see it a second time!

Baymax has got to be one of my favorite characters ever. He is a "nurse bot," and has the capacity to diagnose and treat humans. His halting, gentle voice is always soothing. And he is bound and determined to heal whatever it is that is bothering his human patients.

For Kepler's birthday, we bought him a 19" plush Baymax. Baymax's arms swivel, so he can be very demonstrative, with the right puppeteer in charge.

After the puberty workshop I attended last week, I was newly inspired to do everything I can to help Kepler be as independent as possible.

Getting on the bus in the morning has been challenging in the past. He hasn't wanted to put on his socks, refused his shoes, couldn't find his mittens, and so on. More than once I had a bucking bronco on my hands. We have made a lot of progress in being more organized and utilizing the most excellent Time Timer to have a smoother morning, but I had been resigned to putting on his shoes and socks, pretty much forever, myself, until last Tuesday morning when I had Baymax tell Kepler it was time to put on his socks.

"Kepler... Please put on ... your socks." I placed Baymax in front of my face and he spoke to Kepler,  and Kepler listened. Kepler put on his own socks.

Eureka! I realized I had a solid gold parenting tip right here. Since then, Kepler has listened to Baymax many times and he has obeyed. Not only that, but he LOVES it when Baymax hands him his socks, gives him a fist bump, waves to him from the dining room window as he leaves on the bus, tells him to hang up his coat, and reminds him to wash his hands.

I believe that Mary Poppins was right when she sang about a spoonful of sugar helping the medicine go down. Baymax is the sweetest spoonful of sugar, and turns all the medicine into empowering fun. Baymax for the win!

Which Disney character might your sweet little one respond happily to?

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Baymax is the Gold Standard for Customer Service

I've been down with a respiratory infection for a couple of days. While I lay in bed yesterday, practicing "accepting what is" I was also thinking about what I might post about today. Big Hero 6 popped into my head because Kepler is all about Baymax these days, which put me in mind of patient care, which reminded me of ...

Customer Service. The very phrase can bring about heart palpitations from frustration, anger, and irritation. As good as some CSRs can be, anyone who calls Customer Service will usually need extra patience and understanding, as well as a willingness to tell the same story to multiple people.

My most frequent customer service interactions are with the good people at Verizon, and Anthem Blue Cross and Blue Shield. They, and several others, usually finish their conversation with a yes/no question: "Have I addressed your concerns completely today?"

I always say yes, even if the answer is yesbutno or nobutyes. By the time this question arises, I've been on the phone for ages and am ready to bid them adieu.

But Baymax, the lovable nurse bot from Disney's Big Hero 6, KNOWS how to give the best customer service. You can read more about Baymax's story here. As a nurse bot, Baymax is equipped to diagnose and treat the conditions he encounters in his patients.

Among the many things that I love about Baymax is his penultimate statement to each patient: "I cannot deactivate until you say you are satisfied with your care."

That's what Verizon, and Anthem, and Time Warner, and the IRS, should say. "I cannot disconnect from this call until you say you are satisfied with your experience on this call." It's kind of similar to someone saying, "I'm sorry for all the hassle on this call; will you forgive me?" and responding with, "I forgive you."

Like Don Henley says in his song The Heart of the Matter, it all comes down to forgiveness, letting them off the hook. And rather than carrying my frustration from the call into the next portion of my day, I'm going to accept the imperfections of the system, and move forward in peace.

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Tigger's Top 15 Tiny Steps to Minimize Depression in Eeyore

Hey, depressed person who may be reading this. Thanks for reading. Try one of the things on this list TODAY. 

A. Listen to music that you LOVE! There may be more sad songs out there than happy ones, lyrically speaking, but look for songs that energize you, that lift you up a little or a lot! I took my daughter to a My Chemical Romance concert a few years ago, before I was into them, but I am now, and every time I hear a song by them, I remember the huge adventure of that concert and it just lifts my spirits. 

B. Exercise! Most people who are feeling depressed are definitely not feeling the love for getting up and getting moving. This is where the concept of having an exercise appointment comes in and can sometimes be enough motivation to get going. If it's in the budget, get a personal trainer! Part of their job is listening to you and finding positive things to say. 

C. Medication! For me and many others, it helps tremendously. My brain knows when it is on the med that works with my brain chemistry. Lots of people are able to take it for a period of time and then wean off of it. Many others take it for the long-term. 

D. Offer yourself compassion! Depressed people are well-versed in listing all of their failures, shortcomings, mistakes, errors, blunders, oversights, bumblings, and overall general personal suckage. Try thinking kind thoughts toward yourself -- the kind you would extend to a child who had just skinned their knee, or a beloved pet dog or cat. 
E. Read! Enjoy different kinds of books. Read books that allow you to escape into a fantasy world where you can use your imagination. Read books that teach you something about life. There are literally hundreds of resources to help you find books that will interest you, not the least of which is your local librarian. 

F. Watch interesting movies and television shows! This could be expanded to include YouTube videos. Trick here is not to get hypnotized by the one-eyed monster and end up even less motivated. Watching things should be done judiciously, and should bring you at least a smidgen of joy.

G. Maintain a normal day/night routine. Experiment with going to bed and getting up at roughly the same time every day. Seems that turning off screens 30 or 60 minutes before bed is a very good idea for your brain, which needs to settle down to sleep. Don't check Instagram if you wake up in the night!

H. Drink some water! Eat some fruits and vegetables! Depression demands Tostitos, coke, Froot Loops, and ice cream. Yeah, that's because Depression wants to intensify itself and junk food does the trick. Eating REAL foods helps strengthen the REAL you. 

I. Find a pal you can text when you are feeling down and let them know how you are feeling. Depression wants us to sit alone, in a dark room, and focus on how we have no friends, no one cares, and it'll never get better. Not true. Even if you don't feel close to anyone right now, there are a lot of people out there who would be willing to provide this type of support. 

J. Clean up something, or declutter for a few minutes. Choose one square foot to clean up, or one small task, like clearing all the trash and dishes from your nightstand. Even a tiny step like this is able to improve your mood, in many instances.

K. Spend a bit of money. A bit. Don't impulse spend on anything more expensive than $6.34, but go shopping or even window shopping. It gets you out of the house, gives you the opportunity to greet and be greeted by another human, and shifts your state, even if only a bit.

L. Go through the door of your house to the actual outdoors. Whether it is to walk to the end of the driveway, walk or drive to the local library or coffeehouse, or just let the sunshine pour onto your head, do it. Even five minutes outside is better than 24 hours inside. 

M. Pet your cat or dog if you have one. Or even your son's stuffed Baymax character. Baymax is soft and soothing. 

N. Laugh on purpose. Even if there is nothing funny. Lie down on the floor and just make a belly laugh occur. You'll probably feel sheepish at first, since you know the laughing doesn't match how your insides feel, but you will be amazed at how laughter, even fake laughter, can make a difference.

And a bonus route: Set a time for 15 minutes to get yourself started on a task, any task. Taking a shower. Washing the dishes. Writing. Walking. 

And a bonus bonus! Sometime when you feel more like yourself, create your own list of routes to minimize your depression. Seems like making choices while depressed can be extremely challenging, so make a plan in the light for the darkness that may come again. 

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