I actually love to exercise, especially once I've done it for a week or two.
I love that way it makes me feel like I am taking care of myself.
I love being outside and experiencing the elements, whether cold or hot.
I love the feeling of strength that exercising gives me.
I love seeing the scale register a lower number when I exercise.
But am I currently exercising? No. I was walking in the mornings last week with my daughter, VVV, but she inconsiderately got a blister which made it impossible to walk a mile in my shoes (which she was wearing at the time).
I have a treadmill in the basement. I hate the treadmill.
I have a park near my house, but it's boring to go by myself, especially since my ipod is currently in a coma, unable to communicate with me.
So, here are the things that are holding me up:
1. I want to have the perfect set-up; time of day; clothing; type of exercise; temperature.
2. I feel like I weigh so much now that exercising is hopeless.
3. Exercising takes a lot of time out of my day, which already feels like it's squashed into a smaller window than 24 hours.
4. I'm embarassed that I have lost significant weight twice now and gained it back. Why keep losing it if I'm only going to gain it back?
5. I think there is some magic philosophy out there that if I could just find it I could exercise daily forever without ever missing a day and could reach the perfect, most comfortable weight, and stay there forever.
Do I sound like a 6-year-old or what? Sometimes I don't want to be all grown-up. Sometimes I feel like my responsibilities are overwhelming. Exercising TAKES CARE OF ME, but I still find it easier to eat leftover pizza and Tostito's than to exercise. Well, guess what. It IS easier to eat leftover pizza than it is to exercise.
I've inspired myself, believe it or not. Me and the TLG are going out for a walk right now. See you later!
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
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