And not just any old college, either! Greg and I have brought Valerie to visit our alma mater, Wheaton College. Such a beautiful campus and so many great memories of our time here. There's something so sweet about rounding the corner and seeing the big Wheaton College sign on front campus.
Since the majority of Valerie's scheduled events occur tomorrow, we checked the event calendar for tonight and discovered that Gilbert Mielander was speaking tonight, in a free lecture on campus. I didn't exactly know who he was, but I had heard his name. His topic: The Dgnity of the Human Person. I will let the meat of that lecture stew overnight and blog about it tomorrow.
Valerie loves this campus so far. She's going to visit classes tomorrow, experience Chapel, have a campus tour and spend the night in a dorm.
She will find out the outcome of her application in early April. If accepted, she will transfer here as a sophomore this fall. We are praying toward that end.
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Monday, March 19, 2012
The Hand Surgery That Wasn't
Today was the day I was going to have the cyst removed from my finger. But I didn't. All I can say is I had a dream about the surgery that left me so troubled that I decided to listen to what my gut was telling me, which was, Today's not the day for this. Don't know why, but I know I'm glad I didn't have the procedure done.
It's not like anyone else would really notice it, or if they did, that they'd care. It's not green, or hairy, or shaped like a troll. It's not painful. It's not going to get worse. There's just something about the fact that it is THERE that troubles me. It CAN cause some deforming of the nail. I just find it interesting that for almost everything medical, I take a big time "wait and see" attitude. Most things resolve with time, it seems. And yet, I was ready to jump right into a surgery less than a week after this was diagnosed, and I just think that is interesting.
What I wonder is whether the idea of doing something to resolve A problem with my hand was bringing me relief from the ongoing tension I experience about the fact that I seem to be developing some arthritis in my hands, and a couple of other hand issues. I know that when I heard there was such a thing as a hand specialist I was Amazed and Excited. I didn't know such a specialty existed. I made the appt and planned to bring up the other hand issues during the appointment. Instead, I came away only with information on what the surgery would entail, including the possible side effects, which included numbness and stiffness in the finger.
I have a sense of something I need to do nutritionally, which may not affect the cyst, but very well may impact the health of my joints. Time again practice asking my good questions. What result do I want with my health? What am I willing to do to make that happen. The answers to these questions will require me to step up and engage and really show up. That can be very challenging for me since my story is that I have a lot of stress in my life, and that nutritional "thing" will require me to handle the stress in some other way.
Just another reminder that this life is a journey, and that it is filled with opportunities. This is an opportunity, and I want to make the most of it.
Sunday, March 18, 2012
Crossroads church, 3 years later
Three years ago, I visited crossroads church after an invitation (or invite, or "ask" in cooler parlance) from my personal trainer at the time. He invited me before he violated the terms of his drug arrest parole, and completely disappeared from the scene. He was at my first service ("at service" was how he said it, dropping that pesky article) and introduced me to the friends he was with. It was nice to be known by someone in such a huge group of people. I was swooning at the music from the get-go, struck by the hipness of everyone on stage and I seem to remember that the talk (no messages or sermons here!) was filled with humor, transparency and even some Scripture!. A few weeks later Greg and I attended our first Super Bowl of Preaching service. I joyously cheered at the amazing creativity, and marveled that Moeller High School's marching band swarmed in at halftime and put on a "dope" show.
In a couple of months, i was chomping at the bit to become one of the "thousands of volunteers who keep this place going." Four months in, I began to volunteer at the Info Center. And soon enough I was attending a service on both Saturday AND Sunday, volunteering on Saturday, attending the service on Sat and then going a second time on Sun, amazed every week at all i was getting out of the service, the message. Soon I was creating a custom message guide for my family, complete with personalized application questions, after each Saturday service so they could use it on Sunday morning. I was SOLD on the Crossroads brand!
One could imagine that I might hearken back to my teen years and remember what effect it had on me to change churches in my junior year of high school to a church all the way across town. Being across town made getting there a time and traffic nightmare. Being new to the youth group brought about the challenge of breaking into a new scene at a point where I was getting close to being finished being in a youth group. For the first time in my life, but unfortunately not the last, I was faced with the challenge of assimilating into an established group. After about a year, I was off to college, as were the other kids my age, and the tenuous connections I had made were weakened by distance and infrequent visits to church on rare weekend visits home.
And yet I blithely put my own kids into the same position. My life as a teen had basically operated around a nucleus of the local church, and so I was motivated to try to become a part of the new, already established group. My own kids, however, had grown up in a different church environment, and so the chances were almost none to none that they would assimilate into the giant youth group called Crossroads Student Movement. They preferred the "mainstage" service anyway.
I felt so sure that the huge "congregation" (not a word I ever heard at Crossroads) was manageable if I just kept on the prescribed path for getting "connected." (a word I have heard quite often at Crossroads) Along came the first "all-church journey" and I said YES! What a great idea to get everyone in a group for six weeks, all going on a carefully and creatively crafted path together. Didn't hesitate for a second to join a group and participate to the best of my ability. I was excited to be a part of the some 50,000 people all doing the same study! Wow! How ecumenical and inclusive and stuff!
We loved our group. 4 married couples, and the occasional single lady who came a few times. At that point, nothing bothered me! It was all good! At the last of the six group meetings, Greg and I expressed how much we had loved the group and let them know that we would love to continue, that we needed this type of connection with people in the busyness of our deep-in-the-midst-of-parenting stage of life. I was pretty surprised when the rest of the group demurred, asking for some time to recover from the 6-week group before we had to meet again. Needless to say, the group did not continue. We met for dinner a couple of times in late spring and early summer, and I realized that without the structure of the group process, we didn't have quite as much in common as I had first imagined.
Although still technically a Crossroads attendee, I no longer volunteer. I am no longer so enamored with the edgy, with-it people and processes. I think there is a wonderful depth to Brian, the senior pastor, and Chuck, the associate pastor, or co-pastor, or whatever he is called. I know there are loving, caring people in this church who genuinely want to see people grow, and especially see children really embrace The idea of following Jesus. There is clearly a clarity in the stated purpose of the church, from its facility usage, to decisions about who is allowed to give out information, to choices about exact wording and gestures to use to be as welcoming as possible, kind of like I think Walt Disney World employees might do it. Yep. All that's true. And this isn't about whether or not some place is perfect, because no place is or can be or ever will be.
Maybe it's partly knowing I will never be a part of the Inner Circle, that my station in life and age and background and needs maybe really aren't the kind of station, background and needs that get the attention and focus of the big-picture planners.
Maybe it's partly understanding that the emphasis on getting everyone engaged in the "all-church journey" precludes really focusing much on getting people connected to other Christians in a small group setting. The people onstage all seem to be connected in small groups, and I am happy for them, but they must know something I don't know. Maybe with such a large staff, it is fairly easy to do life together. Such a cool place to work. Such outside-the-box thinking. Obviously really creative people at the heart of this thing, people who know how to get things done.
Maybe it's partly that their focus on not being religious has left an empty space where religion used to be in me, and that I'm finding some new, very alive things to fill that space. Getting rid of the false guilt, leaving behind the drive to always be focused on what I "should" do, and shifting my focus from behavior to character and joy -- these things have been part of my experience at Crossroads, but I wonder if the powers that be would be happy those things are gone and sad that I haven't found the non-religious aspect of Christianity to be fulfilling.
Just recently, I visited my main childhood church for a 50th anniversary celebration. Little has changed there. They preach sermons based on Scripture. They are not trying to be emergent or seeker-friendly, although they are certainly not trying to be seeker-unfriendly. They serve Communion exactly the way they did 40 years ago when I was there. And they seem to still have the type of community I remember being a part of. It's a smaller church, so those types of relationships become more possible, at least for me. I was not part of the decision to leave that church -- we kids just got in the car and rode to where our parents took us for church. I wonder what it is like to be a part of a place that seems to be more "religious." I don't want the religious piece, but it would be nice to share regular times with people through the focal point of church. I think.
I'm still at Crossroads because my two youngest kids are finding community and connection there. As long as they are growing, we want to provide that opportunity. But this strikes me as a great opportunity to ask myself some good questions right about now. I acknowledge that we will probably always be a very small fish in an extremely large pond as long as we are there. I don't need to be a big fish. I'd just like to be a fish that swims well with others, that enjoys the wonders of the ocean together, that has occasional adventures like jumping UP! out of the water and then back in. Not sure I see that ever happening where we are. Sure, it can be complicated to sort through the issues and possibilities, but I feel more prepared than ever to see this as an opportunity and a gift, and to believe that figuring out the WHAT and the WHY of that what, will make the HOW clear and possible.
In a couple of months, i was chomping at the bit to become one of the "thousands of volunteers who keep this place going." Four months in, I began to volunteer at the Info Center. And soon enough I was attending a service on both Saturday AND Sunday, volunteering on Saturday, attending the service on Sat and then going a second time on Sun, amazed every week at all i was getting out of the service, the message. Soon I was creating a custom message guide for my family, complete with personalized application questions, after each Saturday service so they could use it on Sunday morning. I was SOLD on the Crossroads brand!
One could imagine that I might hearken back to my teen years and remember what effect it had on me to change churches in my junior year of high school to a church all the way across town. Being across town made getting there a time and traffic nightmare. Being new to the youth group brought about the challenge of breaking into a new scene at a point where I was getting close to being finished being in a youth group. For the first time in my life, but unfortunately not the last, I was faced with the challenge of assimilating into an established group. After about a year, I was off to college, as were the other kids my age, and the tenuous connections I had made were weakened by distance and infrequent visits to church on rare weekend visits home.
And yet I blithely put my own kids into the same position. My life as a teen had basically operated around a nucleus of the local church, and so I was motivated to try to become a part of the new, already established group. My own kids, however, had grown up in a different church environment, and so the chances were almost none to none that they would assimilate into the giant youth group called Crossroads Student Movement. They preferred the "mainstage" service anyway.
I felt so sure that the huge "congregation" (not a word I ever heard at Crossroads) was manageable if I just kept on the prescribed path for getting "connected." (a word I have heard quite often at Crossroads) Along came the first "all-church journey" and I said YES! What a great idea to get everyone in a group for six weeks, all going on a carefully and creatively crafted path together. Didn't hesitate for a second to join a group and participate to the best of my ability. I was excited to be a part of the some 50,000 people all doing the same study! Wow! How ecumenical and inclusive and stuff!
We loved our group. 4 married couples, and the occasional single lady who came a few times. At that point, nothing bothered me! It was all good! At the last of the six group meetings, Greg and I expressed how much we had loved the group and let them know that we would love to continue, that we needed this type of connection with people in the busyness of our deep-in-the-midst-of-parenting stage of life. I was pretty surprised when the rest of the group demurred, asking for some time to recover from the 6-week group before we had to meet again. Needless to say, the group did not continue. We met for dinner a couple of times in late spring and early summer, and I realized that without the structure of the group process, we didn't have quite as much in common as I had first imagined.
Although still technically a Crossroads attendee, I no longer volunteer. I am no longer so enamored with the edgy, with-it people and processes. I think there is a wonderful depth to Brian, the senior pastor, and Chuck, the associate pastor, or co-pastor, or whatever he is called. I know there are loving, caring people in this church who genuinely want to see people grow, and especially see children really embrace The idea of following Jesus. There is clearly a clarity in the stated purpose of the church, from its facility usage, to decisions about who is allowed to give out information, to choices about exact wording and gestures to use to be as welcoming as possible, kind of like I think Walt Disney World employees might do it. Yep. All that's true. And this isn't about whether or not some place is perfect, because no place is or can be or ever will be.
Maybe it's partly knowing I will never be a part of the Inner Circle, that my station in life and age and background and needs maybe really aren't the kind of station, background and needs that get the attention and focus of the big-picture planners.
Maybe it's partly understanding that the emphasis on getting everyone engaged in the "all-church journey" precludes really focusing much on getting people connected to other Christians in a small group setting. The people onstage all seem to be connected in small groups, and I am happy for them, but they must know something I don't know. Maybe with such a large staff, it is fairly easy to do life together. Such a cool place to work. Such outside-the-box thinking. Obviously really creative people at the heart of this thing, people who know how to get things done.
Maybe it's partly that their focus on not being religious has left an empty space where religion used to be in me, and that I'm finding some new, very alive things to fill that space. Getting rid of the false guilt, leaving behind the drive to always be focused on what I "should" do, and shifting my focus from behavior to character and joy -- these things have been part of my experience at Crossroads, but I wonder if the powers that be would be happy those things are gone and sad that I haven't found the non-religious aspect of Christianity to be fulfilling.
Just recently, I visited my main childhood church for a 50th anniversary celebration. Little has changed there. They preach sermons based on Scripture. They are not trying to be emergent or seeker-friendly, although they are certainly not trying to be seeker-unfriendly. They serve Communion exactly the way they did 40 years ago when I was there. And they seem to still have the type of community I remember being a part of. It's a smaller church, so those types of relationships become more possible, at least for me. I was not part of the decision to leave that church -- we kids just got in the car and rode to where our parents took us for church. I wonder what it is like to be a part of a place that seems to be more "religious." I don't want the religious piece, but it would be nice to share regular times with people through the focal point of church. I think.
I'm still at Crossroads because my two youngest kids are finding community and connection there. As long as they are growing, we want to provide that opportunity. But this strikes me as a great opportunity to ask myself some good questions right about now. I acknowledge that we will probably always be a very small fish in an extremely large pond as long as we are there. I don't need to be a big fish. I'd just like to be a fish that swims well with others, that enjoys the wonders of the ocean together, that has occasional adventures like jumping UP! out of the water and then back in. Not sure I see that ever happening where we are. Sure, it can be complicated to sort through the issues and possibilities, but I feel more prepared than ever to see this as an opportunity and a gift, and to believe that figuring out the WHAT and the WHY of that what, will make the HOW clear and possible.
Saturday, March 17, 2012
Random thoughts
I haven't watched any college basketball this month. I think it's cool that there are people who have the time to do so, especially with a completed bracket!
I spent the evening at the Cincinnati Waldorf School Gala, of which my beautiful sister, Mindy, was the co-chair. I was there as a volunteer and observer. My volunteer duties were slight; I enjoyed my observations. Seems the school has some pretty special things going on. They are lucky to have Mindy.
When Kepler and I go to library twice a week, he checks out five DVDs and ten books. He doesn't usually watch all of the DVDs, but I enjoy checking out many books and movies in order to do what I can to boost my branch's circulation.
My hand surgery is scheduled for Monday morning to remove that mucinous cyst. I wonder what it will be like to have limited use of that finger for a couple of weeks.
I know this post is less meaty than usual. I have a goal to blog on a daily basis, so some days are going to be great blogging days, and others might not be. I can tell you that blogging before the clock strikes twelve is not a surefire path to brilliance. But I am doing what I can at the moment. Hang In there. I know there will be improvements very soon!
I spent the evening at the Cincinnati Waldorf School Gala, of which my beautiful sister, Mindy, was the co-chair. I was there as a volunteer and observer. My volunteer duties were slight; I enjoyed my observations. Seems the school has some pretty special things going on. They are lucky to have Mindy.
When Kepler and I go to library twice a week, he checks out five DVDs and ten books. He doesn't usually watch all of the DVDs, but I enjoy checking out many books and movies in order to do what I can to boost my branch's circulation.
My hand surgery is scheduled for Monday morning to remove that mucinous cyst. I wonder what it will be like to have limited use of that finger for a couple of weeks.
I know this post is less meaty than usual. I have a goal to blog on a daily basis, so some days are going to be great blogging days, and others might not be. I can tell you that blogging before the clock strikes twelve is not a surefire path to brilliance. But I am doing what I can at the moment. Hang In there. I know there will be improvements very soon!
Friday, March 16, 2012
Learning to ask better questions
Have you ever had one of those times when a few annoying things happened on top of one another, and as they occurred, you found yourself bringing to mind other annoyances and irritations, and feeling, well, annoyed and irritated? I have.
And the truth is, sometimes I prefer to stay annoyed and irritated rather than doing what it is going to take to put myself into a more resourceful place. For me, I always have such complicated "logistics" with my family, that I don't always respond well when my logistical efforts are thwarted by finding out I had insufficient information when planning.
Today, when that happened and my darn Bluetooth was acting up just as I needed to make a telephone call, I just wanted to keep feeling annoyed and irritated. It was my right! I deserved to be mad!
Some really unhelpful questions arose in my mind: Why does this always happen? Why shouldn't I feel angry in this case? And then, a really helpful question was suggested to me.
Does it serve me to remain in the anger and annoyance?
Nope. It didn't. Holding on to the aggravation wasn't going to really give me what I was wanting. Getting in touch with what I DID want made it so much easier to let go of the aggravation. I was reaching for something else. Going toward something.
Do you ask whether something serves you? (or words to that effect?) What do you think about trying it?
And the truth is, sometimes I prefer to stay annoyed and irritated rather than doing what it is going to take to put myself into a more resourceful place. For me, I always have such complicated "logistics" with my family, that I don't always respond well when my logistical efforts are thwarted by finding out I had insufficient information when planning.
Today, when that happened and my darn Bluetooth was acting up just as I needed to make a telephone call, I just wanted to keep feeling annoyed and irritated. It was my right! I deserved to be mad!
Some really unhelpful questions arose in my mind: Why does this always happen? Why shouldn't I feel angry in this case? And then, a really helpful question was suggested to me.
Does it serve me to remain in the anger and annoyance?
Nope. It didn't. Holding on to the aggravation wasn't going to really give me what I was wanting. Getting in touch with what I DID want made it so much easier to let go of the aggravation. I was reaching for something else. Going toward something.
Do you ask whether something serves you? (or words to that effect?) What do you think about trying it?
Thursday, March 15, 2012
The Serenity Prayer
The Serenity Prayer
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.
-- Reinhold Niebuhr
calm ... calmness ... tranquility ... peace ... composure
These are synonyms for serenity. Some days are frenetic ... fast and uncontrolled in a rather wild and uncontrolled way. Today ... hailstones pounding this morning ... a little boy, feverish with a hurting belly ... a BIG grocery shopping trip, after a ... small, emergency grocery trip for applesauce and crackers for the little guy with the sore tummy ... a surprising phone call ... a mid-afternoon trip to the airport (about 90 minute round-trip) ... kinda frenetic.
So, all I have to share tonight is this beautiful prayer, which says it so well ... what belongs to me, and what belongs to others, and the wisdom of knowing and accepting which is which.
Peace to you, friends.
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.
-- Reinhold Niebuhr
calm ... calmness ... tranquility ... peace ... composure
These are synonyms for serenity. Some days are frenetic ... fast and uncontrolled in a rather wild and uncontrolled way. Today ... hailstones pounding this morning ... a little boy, feverish with a hurting belly ... a BIG grocery shopping trip, after a ... small, emergency grocery trip for applesauce and crackers for the little guy with the sore tummy ... a surprising phone call ... a mid-afternoon trip to the airport (about 90 minute round-trip) ... kinda frenetic.
So, all I have to share tonight is this beautiful prayer, which says it so well ... what belongs to me, and what belongs to others, and the wisdom of knowing and accepting which is which.
Peace to you, friends.
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
National Pi Day
That was today, in case you missed it. With the advent of Facebook as a ubiquitous presence in our lives, I have become more aware of these government-designated days. People wished me Happy National Pi Day today.
Did you know that the Congress of the US of A made this an official National Day in 2009? This designation was an attempt to draw attention to improving math and science education. So let me ask you. Were you more aware of improving math and science education today? Do you see a logical connection between designating national days and increasing awareness?
And then there are foods that have a national day, at least one per day all year long. And diseases get entire months. I wonder what it means to raise awareness. March is National Kidney Month, National ColoRectal Cancer Awareness Month, and National AutoImmune Diseases awareness Month. Did you know that?
I wonder if this is an attempt to draw attention to something by pointing it out among the thousands of things vying for our attention every day.
I think Pi is seriously cool. I love numbers, and especially patterns in numbers. But for me, it's too general to ask me to focus on the importance of math and science education. What does that mean for me? What does it mean for you? I work much better with more personal information.
If it were me, I would make it National Pi(e) Day and link something yummy (pie!) with something academic, and I would define what it is we are wanting in regard to math and science education.
Our good intentions. How they tantalize us.
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