Monday, April 6, 2015

Enlightenment

 exploding_sun image by schnuffibossi1
In my former worldview and system of thinking, I did not believe in Enlightenment, aside from the common, everyday use of the term. Gradually, I have begun to experience more and more what feels like capital e Enlightenment. This article by Barbara-Lynn Freed put a lot into words that I hadn't actually verbalized.

She suggests that there are 5 ways to cultivate enlightenment:

1. Taking Personal Responsibility
2. Trusting Your Inner Authority
3. Being Authentically Vulnerable
4. Cultivating Unconditional Love and Forgiveness
5. Developing True Compassion

The first one of these that I understood was forgiveness. Way back when the big kids were little, I read something about the difference between saying "I'm sorry" and "I'm sorry, Will you please forgive me?" Asking for forgiveness allows us to be authentically vulnerable by humbling ourselves, and allows the one being asked to intentionally offer forgiveness.

Our culture is RIFE with "I'm sorry," and yet it is often an empty formality. "[I'm] sorry you had to wait thirteen extra seconds for your fries." "[I'm] sorry I forgot to call you back/rsvp/return your widget/answer your email." Not every instance of "I'm sorry" must be followed up by "Will you please forgive me?" In relationships, many times an apology followed up by a request for forgiveness quadruples (at least) the power of the apology. As hard as it is for some to say "I'm sorry," there are many more who have never uttered the words "Will you please forgive me?"

The next step for me was to begin to understand the value of listening to my own inner authority. In small group one evening, another young mother, Kristin, listened to me explaining how I had been listening to myself and acting based on what I sensed my inner wisdom telling me. Kristin longingly expressed how she wished she had such a thing, that she never seemed to know what to do.

Although my first exposure to the idea of taking personal responsibility was dear Viktor Frankl in "Man's Search for Meaning, it was Tony Robbins who showed me the power of taking personal responsibility. Have you ever noticed how often in movies and television, a character will say, "I had no choice."? Au contraire, tiny one, I always want to say. You did have a choice. Our most amazing choice available is that one which comes with every single experience. We get to choose how we are going to respond to it.

Last week in the court, the first defendant was a 19-yr-old developmentally delayed man. He was in jail on domestic violence charges against his aunt, who had been housing him. The only person he had as a possible replacement caregiver was a distant great-uncle. He has no other family, no friends. My heart broke for him. That may not be compassion, as much as it is sympathy, but I think it's in the right direction -- seeing him as a worthy and valued human who is capable and lovable, as well as someone who, like all of us, thrives when in an environment where we can express our capabilities and experience love.

Imagine a world, or a community, or a family, or even many individuals who take personal responsibility for their lives, who take the risk to trust their inner authority, believing that authentic vulnerability is actually a strength that benefits all of us, and who give and receive love and compassion and forgiveness. I can begin to imagine it, because I am seeing it in my own life. I want to be part of sharing and igniting this vision in other people. Won't you join me?

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

You need to know you put Dr Spock to shame. Not only because of the content of your writing but also because you have thought things through and take the time to give us, your readers, reasons.

Blessings, MLM

John Holton said...

I think you nailed it when you said "take the risk to trust their inner authority." It is a risk, especially when you choose to ignore external authority, because relying on someone to make the choices for you means, if things go wrong, it's not your fault. School teaches all the wrong lessons where that is concerned: it tells you that doing something or thinking something different from what the teacher says or does is wrong and you will flunk and be held back until you get it "right." You'll be punished for making mistakes (which is inevitable and part of the learning process) or for having your own ideas. You get out of school and have to retrain yourself that making mistakes isn't a bad thing and that you don't have to agree with what someone says, and that taking risks will always involve people telling you you're wrong, you're crazy, etc.

Trusting yourself and taking risks is a necessary part of life. Everything else you mention starts with that.

Patrick Smith said...

Finding the way to allow myself the time & space to find my choice remains key for me. Keep writing!

Megan Whitson Lee said...

As a teacher, I see far too much of kids blaming other people, never taking responsibility. As a society, we absolutely need to own up to our faults. Amen to that and amen to forgiveness!

Archita said...

"Imagine a world, or a community, or a family, or even many individuals who take personal responsibility for their lives, who take the risk to trust their inner authority, believing that authentic vulnerability is actually a strength that benefits all of us, and who give and receive love and compassion and forgiveness." - extremely important point to remember. I loved the post so much.

Arlee Bird said...

You've got some excellent thought processes at work in this post. To bad more people don't see things this way. Such a great world we could have, but for now we can dream and work on ourselves in hopes that we have an influence on those around us.

Arlee Bird
A to Z Challenge Co-host
A Faraway View

jgifederizo said...

Hi! Lovely post here, enlightening indeed! I read your other posts, too, and have so far read down to your C-post (A to Z'er here also), which is my favorite so far. Decided to Follow but not sure why the submit button is not working for me. Will try again.

Keep A to Z'ing!!!!!!