Showing posts with label acceptance. Show all posts
Showing posts with label acceptance. Show all posts

Monday, April 13, 2015

Karma

Dear Readers, My blog is  moving to ClearingSpace4Joy.wordpress.com. I will be posting on both blogs for the remainder of the A to Z challenge, but do visit my new digs! It's a really lovely place. Love, Siouxsie



Like so many big concepts in my life, I learned the word "karma" from the Beatles, in their song, "Instant Karma." I didn't bother to find out what karma was. Considering the amount of fear I carried around as a child, I only knew that if it was gonna get me, I probably didn't want to get too close to it.

Even the Bible's version of this was frightening and ominous: "Do not be deceived. God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows." (Galatians 6:7)

There are other places on the internet and in books where you can read all about karma. The manner in which I am using this word is similar to the idea of sowing and reaping, and has to do with the energetic connections of our actions.

What I was taught was that bad things happen to good people, and while I don't disagree with that, there is great power in giving out compassion, kindness, goodness, patience, love, peace and joy to the world. When we are radiating these types of characteristics, we are going to draw those same things to ourselves.

I see it again and again. When I approach people with a smile, and a genuine caring heart, they are much more likely to be open to me, to help me with what I am asking for, and to take in the positive "vibes" I am giving out. I've seen the opposite as well -- when I'm resentful or already angry before I come into contact with someone, the interaction is of a complete different quality.

So, I've accepted it. I love knowing that the energy I give out has an impact on others, and also impacts what comes back to me. This belief motivates me even more to come to people and situations with an open heart, as a perpetual beginner, and a lifelong learner.

How do you experience the concept of sowing and reaping in your life?


Saturday, April 11, 2015

J is for Junuh

I've been a fan of Steven Pressfield (The War of Art) for quite awhile, but only recently learned that he had based his book The Legend of Bagger Vance on the Hindu text The Bhagavad Vita. When I originally saw the movie, I interpreted Bagger's character to be representative of the Holy Spirit.  However you interpret the character, he's full of wisdom and I love this scene where Junuh accepts his fear and uncertainty about how to move past the horrors he experienced in the war. 

Each of us carries around burdens, no matter how charmed our life has been. This clip from the film is a powerful representation of what happens when we accept that we each are here for a unique purpose and we step into that purpose. Now is the time.




Bagger Vance: What I'm talkin about is a game... A game that can't be won only played... 
Rannulph Junuh: You don't understand... 
Bagger Vance: I don't need to understand... Ain't a soul on this entire earth ain't got a burden to carry he don't understand, you ain't alone in that... But you been carryin' this one long enough... Time to go on... lay it down... 
Rannulph Junuh: I don't know how... 
Bagger Vance: You got a choice... You can stop... Or you can start... 
Rannulph Junuh: Start? 
Bagger Vance: Walkin... 
Rannulph Junuh: Where? 
Bagger Vance: Right back to wehre you always been... and then stand there... Still... real still... And remember... 
Rannulph Junuh: It's too long ago... 
Bagger Vance: Oh no sir it was just a moment ago... Time for you to come on out the shadows Junuh... Time for you to choose... 
Rannulph Junuh: I can't... 
Bagger Vance: Yes you can... but you ain't alone... I"m right here with ya... I've been here all along... Now play the game... Your game... The one that only you was meant to play... Then one that was given to you when you come into this world... You ready?... Stike that ball Junuh don't hold nothin back give it everything... Now's the time... Let yourself remember... Remember YOUR swing... That's right Junuh, settle yourself... Let's go... Now is the time, Junuh... 



Wednesday, April 8, 2015

Giving Advice

How do I?

I find myself in the position this morning of not knowing where to begin on a project, and the project today is cleaning my house. I've never really had "cleaning days" or any systemic cleaning practices that have become second nature. The cleaning I do is more of the "lick and a promise" sort. I thought about asking others who are great housecleaners where I should begin, but I decided before I do that, I would write a blog post to a certain someone who wants to know how to clean their home.

Should I use the internet? 

The internet is filled to the brim with "how-to" websites. The search words "how to clean your home" yield 268,000,000 results. So, there's no shortage out there of advice. The best advice I can possibly get, however, comes from my inner wise self. No one else has my home's layout, my particular clutter challenges, my preferences, my tools, my temperament. Looking to my inner wise self will give me a fantastic place to start. Maybe I'll be left with a question or two that I genuinely don't know the answer to. Then I can find out the answer to that specific question.

In the meantime, I have actually noticed quite often that when I give advice to others (either solicited or unsolicited), it is almost always advice to applies to one or more situations in my own life as well. Like the saying, we do not see the world as it is, we see the world as we are. Same thing with advice: we give advice that we believe will be helpful to another, but we can't help it being helpful to ourselves as well.

What do I accept about giving advice?

The acceptance piece of giving advice is that I'm really the best person to give myself advice. I think this becomes more true the healthier we are, but I believe that we each have the best solutions within us. Sometimes we just need a good coach to help us access them.

Try it. Think of something you feel stuck about. Look inside and ask your inner wise self how you might proceed. Trust yourself. It's a process of learning to listen to ourselves, to act on our gut instinct, and to be "wise as serpents and innocent as doves." We must also apply critical thinking to this process. Thoughts come and go, and they're not all from our inner wisdom!

Can I see an example?

Here is my letter to my certain someone about the issue facing her today:

Dear Friend,

You've gotten to the place where it's time to clean and you don't know where to begin? Well, anywhere you start is a fine place, since it means you are actually taking the first step. However, there are a few cleaning principles that may come in handy as you go about your work.

Do clean from top to bottom. There is a reason why that is an actual phrase. As you clean the top, there are items and detritus that waft downward, so you work your way down so as to keep clean the part you have already done.

As you look at the room you are cleaning, think of it in layers. The first layer is the items that do not belong in that room, and the items that are misplaced. Get your laundry baskets and identify them with kitchen, daughter's room, basement and son's room. As you come across things that go in those places, put them into the correct basket. After you finish this step, empty the baskets by putting the items in their proper places.

Set the Time Timer for 15 minutes. Allow yourself to clean for just 15 minutes, but feel free to continue on for another 15 and another, as long as you want. Just get started.

Do a first layer sweep of the room first thing. Have a trash bag attached to your apron so you can throw away trash right away. Have a second trash bag where you can put recyclables.

Express gratitude for each item you pick up or clean. You are tremendously blessed in so many ways. Allow your cleaning to be a reflection of that truth.

Clean your rooms in a counter-clockwise manner by starting with your living room, then master bedroom, bathroom, hall, kepler's room, office, kitchen, family room.

Second layer of the process is cleaning flat surfaces. You will want to have along your cleaning supplies and tools for this step. Purple cleaning cloths, Windex multi-surface spray, Miracle 2 spray, bucket of soapy water, baking soda dispenser as well as barkeeper's friend, drying cloths, furniture oil and cloth, clorox wipes.

Flat surfaces include windowsills, tops of the lower windows, windows, tables, mirrors, hearth and mantel, the piano, countertops, tub, wooden furniture, etc. These will be evident. Having already done the first layer of putting away all the things that do not belong, this layer will go quickly.

Third layer is to clean the floors. Use the rainbow vacuum to vacuum the rooms, again in compass order, and add the basement steps in at the end. After vacuuming and putting the vacuum away and emptying the water basin, clean the ceramic floor in the bathroom and the wood floor in the kitchen.

Completing these three layers will give you a completely different feel in your home. When you think of your mother's home, which is the standard you tend to think of, you will remember that not only is her home actually clean, but it also is beautiful. Allow yourself to focus on the cleanliness portion right now, and once it is clean and you are breathing in the freshness and enjoyment of that, you can look at how you would like to add, subtract or multiply to bring more beauty into your own home.

Next time we'll look at the layers and steps for cleaning the basement storage, bathroom, and living areas.

Love,
Siouxsie


Tuesday, April 7, 2015

Feast or Famine


Feasting

I've never been in a famine. But I've been to plenty of feasts. I come from a large extended family, and for many years there were 60 or so of us who gathered in my grandmother's large home at Thanksgiving. Ah, those were the days. Eventually, all the cousins started having their own children and then grandchildren, and the different branches of the family divided the gatherings into smaller groups. Many of the people who gathered in those rooms are no longer alive, but the memories will never fade.

Feast or Fast

"Feast or famine" is a phrase that actually started out as "feast or fast." Those two phrases strike me as remarkably different. "Feast or fast" sounds like two contrasting actions, where "feast or famine" sounds like two contrasting conditions. With my focus on the concept of acceptance this month, I will be looking at "feast or famine" as two conditions we find ourselves in quite often.

I have alluded to my previous all-or-nothing, black-and-white thinking. Therefore, feast or famine to me meant either-or. Either I have more than I need, or I don't have enough. Either I have too much to do, or I don't have anything to do. That has to do with my perception of what a famine actually is. Again with the b/w thinking, I always think of a famine as a time where there is no, not any, none at all, food. But a famine actually happens in a drought, or when a crop fails, and causes a scarcity of food.

What does it mean?

So, how does acceptance work with this phrase, feast or famine?

I know I prefer to have more than enough, than not enough. Isn't it interesting to consider, though, when I have more than enough of something, I often have less than enough of something else?

Too much time on my hands? Not enough social interactions with people.
Too many social engagements on my calendar? Not enough downtime.
Too much food to eat? Not enough ability to utilize the food as fuel.

Perception and Acceptance

Therefore, the feast and the famine are often simply my perception. There are people in the world who clearly are dealing with famine of the food kind, and it's not their perception. For the rest of us, it's rare that we utter feast or famine in regard to food.

I can imagine a mindset where I welcome the feasts as well as the famines, recognizing that neither of them can possibly last forever because of, if I may, the laws of thermodynamics, as applied to physical conditions. A mindset where I lean into the fullness of the feast and the leanness of the famine.

Application

Currently, I'm in a feast of resources, opportunities, books, and inspiration; certainly a type of freedom that many do not have. I'm also in a famine of another type of freedom that many do have. In understanding that feast or famine is a simplified way of saying that we have both feast and famine rolling past us all the time, I accept the areas of feasting and the areas of famine. As soon as I accept them, I can begin to notice if I want any less of the feast, or any more of the famine.

What feasts and famines are present in your life that are asking for acceptance?


Friday, April 3, 2015

Compassion and Children

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Bob and Ina were a middle-aged childless couple living in our small Kentucky town after being missionaries in a land across a sea. They were building a home where they would spend their retirement. On the day we were to go over to ooh and ahh about the place, before we left, Bob grumpily told me to make sure I kept the kids' grimy hands off their freshly painted walls.

Oh, I was indignant. AS IF. Anxious as I was back then about any signs of imperfection, I spent the entire walk-through tensely replacing curious childlike arms at sides lest they mar the precious walls.  

Still striding purposefully forth as a young mum, I'd take walks with a baby strapped in the Bjorn carrier on my front, a toddler in the Tough Traveler backpack on my back, and a slightly larger toddler in the umbrella stroller. With all my energy consumed by carrying the weight of their world on my body, we walked and I taught them everything I could think of, everything we saw. 

When my baby number four came along, I shifted from carrying the physical weight to carrying the emotional, spiritual, and intellectual weight. We had sent Valerie to kindergarten that fall because baby was due in late October and even I knew it might be a bit much to homeschool three (ages 5,4,and 3) with a baby on my hip. 

Once kindergarten had concluded, I had my vim and vigor back and embarked on the formal process of educating our kids. Thinking that my kids were uniquely unique in their uniqueness and pretty much the top kids ever born on this small blue dot of God's green earth, we spelled and sang and memorized and walked and drew and added and read our way through the years.

The bombshell of our later-in-life baby who brought Down syndrome into our world threw me for the looped-de-est loop that ever sideswiped a mama bear. And I reeled for years, trying to continue to carry the weight of the world on my shoulders.

Finally, finally, I learned to embrace the whole kit and kaboodle, the mess and inefficiency and snail-like pace of these bright, quick, beautiful, sentient beings. 

Last night, as I set out to floss my teeth (take note, dentist person!), my special floss threaders for my lingual bar retainer were not where I had left them. Immediately, I suspected knew that Kepler was responsible for this reorganization, but he was asleep so no asky keppie tilly morning. 

Years ago, I would have raged, furious that I couldn't leave a small item out on the counter and know it would be there next time I needed it. By now, though, I simply put my Kepler thinking cap on, and remembered that he likes to put miscellaneous items down the laundry chute. 

I checked. No flosser threaders, but I found two barrettes that had been next to the f.t.'s and grew suspicious. Little Keppie has occasionally flushed a thing or two before. 

Throughout, I was calm, open to what lesson I might be having the chance to learn, and accepting the change in plans that is part and parcel of children in our lives. The compassion section of my heart has had room to grow as the controlling section has faded.

Although not everyone gets to or wants to say yes to the chaos of children, ours have been part of my journey to acceptance, which, by the way, I'm still on. 

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Wednesday, April 1, 2015

Acceptance (A is for)

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You are cordially invited to join me this month as I explore the idea of Acceptance and its powerful effects on our lives.

What is Acceptance?

I'd heard of Lamaze childbirth classes, but I wanted "Husband-Coached Natural Childbirth." I first learned about acceptance in our classes. We focused on learning to breathe into the pain, to accept it and ride through the wave of the contraction.

This method was in stark contrast to Lamaze, which taught you to focus on something else and get through the pain. One says yes to the pain of the contraction and relaxes through it. The other just hangs on, trying to get through it as soon as possible.

Although "accept" encompasses coming to believe that an opinion or explanation is valid or correct, for me it deals directly with validity, and not correctness. Acceptance is all about embracing the unwanted, allowing it to be just as it is, without my judgment, my approval or my consent.

I think acceptance is, at least in part, a developmental stage we reach at different times in life.

So What?

Do you have any challenges in your life? I think most of us do. And you may have noticed how little control we actually have over the how and when and what. However, we do have at least some control over how we respond to the challenges. Acceptance is a key part of successfully navigating the challenges, and seeing them as opportunities.

Now What?

Acceptance takes intention and persistence and courage and all the good stuff inside me. Acceptance comes through love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, faithfulness, self-control. It's a journey, not a destination. It's an ongoing decision for us humans.

To paraphrase an old song; What the World Needs Now is Acceptance, Sweet Acceptance.


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The theme of my blogs for the Blogging A to Z challenge this month is Acceptance, following the  reflection practice of asking these three questions: What?  So What? Now What? At least, unless I change my mind, which I did about tomorrow's post. 


Tuesday, January 14, 2014

A Beautiful Thought


A blind child …….. guided by his mother ……… admires the cherry blossoms.    --Kikakou


At times, I am the blind child.
At times, I am the guide.
At times, I am the cherry blossoms.

Thursday, March 15, 2012

The Serenity Prayer

The Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

-- Reinhold Niebuhr

calm ... calmness ... tranquility ... peace ... composure

These are synonyms for serenity. Some days are frenetic ... fast and uncontrolled in a rather wild and uncontrolled way. Today ... hailstones pounding this morning ... a little boy, feverish with a hurting belly ... a BIG grocery shopping trip, after a ... small, emergency grocery trip for applesauce and crackers for the little guy with the sore tummy ... a surprising phone call ... a mid-afternoon trip to the airport (about 90 minute round-trip) ... kinda frenetic.

So, all I have to share tonight is this beautiful prayer, which says it so well ... what belongs to me, and what belongs to others, and the wisdom of knowing and accepting which is which.

Peace to you, friends.