Thursday, September 4, 2008

5 Things MY Cell Phone Can Do

I got a forwarded email message the other day about "5 Things You Never Knew Your Cell Phone Could Do." I had gotten it before, but this time I swung by Snopes to see what they had to say. As usual, most of the message wasn't true, according to Snopes. But I was inspired, none the less. What follows is a list of 5 Things I have discovered, sometimes by accident, that my cell phone can do. Check them out:

5 more things my cell phone can do:

1. When mountain climbing, point the phone at the top of the mountain and press #768#7. The distance to the peak will immediately be reduced by up to five meters, depending on the model of your phone.

2. When driving faster than the speed limit, and you see a policeman, point your cell phone at the radar and dial *#*#*#*#. This will disable his radar machine for up to 30 seconds which is usually long enough for you to blow by him undetected. Be careful when pressing the keys while driving. Higher rates of accidents have been detected among drivers who are speeding AND using a cell phone.

3. If one of the bags of groceries you bought gets left on the bagging stand at the store, when you realize it, depending on how many miles you are from the store, dial #88#(number of miles) and the store will automatically tag the bag with your cell phone number. That way it will be easy to identify when you go back to pick it up. No more having to remember that the bag had a pound of cherries, a bottle of Clorox, 4 pears, and some pudding in it. It is important to get the correct number of miles in the code though. Otherwise, the bag will be randomly assigned to another number which is serviced by another carrier.

4. When you go shopping at an unfamiliar Kroger and the layout is just so annoyingly different, dial the number of your regular Kroger and enter the store number followed by the date followed by #16. For example, 413090408#16. On your screen will be the number of the aisle of all the regular foods you buy, based on the data reserved in the cell phone towers from all the Krogering you have ever done. {Ed note: We tried this! It was amazing to see the aisle number for pretzels come right up on the screen! We didn't even have to look up to read those stupid signs hanging from the ceilling!)

5. While trying on shoes at one of those "self-serve" places where there are actually clerks but they are awfully hard to get a hold of, in order to determine if "your size" is in stock in the storeroom, enter the barcode, the size and the price, then point your phone in the direction of where you think the storeroom is. If you have the correct type of cell phone (and they almost all work, believe me), and have pointed it in the correct compasss direction, your phone will either ring to signify yes they are in stock, or vibrate to signify no they are not. Shoe salesmen are being trained to listen for the rings to detect customers who are the most worthy of their time, so this is a real time saver.

Please forward these amazing features of cell phones to everyone you know! They work! They do! No kidding!

And this concludes the public service portion of my blgging for the day.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Will now who knew a cell phone was so talented. How did you like Palin's speech last night?