Friday, March 16, 2012

Learning to ask better questions

Have you ever had one of those times when a few annoying things happened on top of one another, and as they occurred, you found yourself bringing to mind other annoyances and irritations, and feeling, well, annoyed and irritated? I have.

And the truth is, sometimes I prefer to stay annoyed and irritated rather than doing what it is going to take to put myself into a more resourceful place. For me, I always have such complicated "logistics" with my family, that I don't always respond well when my logistical efforts are thwarted by finding out I had insufficient information when planning.

Today, when that happened and my darn Bluetooth was acting up just as I needed to make a telephone call, I just wanted to keep feeling annoyed and irritated. It was my right! I deserved to be mad!

Some really unhelpful questions arose in my mind: Why does this always happen? Why shouldn't I feel angry in this case? And then, a really helpful question was suggested to me.

Does it serve me to remain in the anger and annoyance?

Nope. It didn't. Holding on to the aggravation wasn't going to really give me what I was wanting. Getting in touch with what I DID want made it so much easier to let go of the aggravation. I was reaching for something else. Going toward something.

Do you ask whether something serves you? (or words to that effect?) What do you think about trying it?

2 comments:

Mia said...

I am CONSTANTLY trying to learn this... especially since I tend to be very hard on myself when things don't go as planned. I've often been told to not "sweat the small stuff". One thing I read somewhere (which I'm always trying to remember in those sweating-the-small-stuff-moments) is, one month, six months, a year from now - will this really matter?

Thank you for the reminder...

SiouxsieQ said...

That is a great question, too, to ask whether this will be important in the future!