On Being Presented with the Same Lesson Over and Over

I've never surfed. The closest I have ever come to standing up, balancing on something was when I tried out my son's skateboard. I balanced for a second and then the skateboard moved forward, leaving me behind, in the air pretty much like Wiley E. Coyote in the air after he has run off the edge of the cliff. I know what that landing feels like. I really don't know how WEC kept it up. One fall like that was enough for me.

I've never surfed. I lived minutes from the Pacific Ocean in Australia, and had many friends who surfed. Why didn't I try? I doubt if it even occurred to me.

I've never surfed, but I realized today that several issues appear as GIANT waves any time I admit them into my consciousness. I've been running from the waves. They're BIG. I cannot hold them BACK. They will knock me DOWN. Is it time for me to see what surfing these waves would be like? Surfing is the process of riding a wave to the shore. Surfers love the waves, don't they? Avid surfers often say the bigger the wave, the better.

I'm nowhere near the ocean right now. There's not an ocean wave within 400 miles of here, so I can't go try it. But maybe I can imagine what it would feel like to ride the wave, to be on top of it, to go with it toward the shore.

What do I see as I imagine this? I feel the powerful movement of the water beneath my board. The sun is out, shining as it does every single day somewhere in the world. I understand the wave is something that is exhilarating. Every wave has its crest and then gets smaller and smaller as it moves toward the shore. Surfing the waves is the opposite of standing on the shore, watching the waves come in, dreading their size, fearing their power.

Same lesson, different day. The School of Life keeps pulling this old chestnut out and presenting it to me. Apparently, I've yet to learn it.

Seems like the most important thing in this situation is to keep focusing on what is, rather than what has been. To say yes, and, even if it's through tears. And to keep getting back up and back on my surfboard and trying again. Dude, I'm a gurfer (girl surfer). Yes, only in my mind, but that's a start.

You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf”
Jon Kabat-Zinn

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Before Midnight

That's the title of the film I went to see today with my husband of 28.5 years, at our favorite theater.

Before Midnight is the third in a series of three films. Before Sunrise, Before Sunset, and Before Midnight; they came out in 1995, 2004, and 2013.

In 1995 I was busy with a two-year-old, a one-year-old and a new baby, so I missed that one. In 2004, I was ... I don't know, but I missed that one as well. A friend posted on Facebook that she was excited about this new one coming out, so I took notice. I thought it might be important to watch the first two before we went to the theater (it was), and Amazon Prime came to the rescue last night. We rented both of them and watched them one after the other.

Each film is about a period of time in the lives of Jesse (American) and Celine (French). The first film covers their initial meeting and the subsequent twenty-four hours they spend together in Vienna; the second is nine years later in Paris; the latest one took place in Greece.

Before Midnight captures my life exactly, except for the glamorous Greek scenery. Celine and Jesse are parents now and are vacationing in the Lower Peloponnese mountains. Tres magnifique.

Celine and Jesse got into an argument, and when she said she had not yet recovered from the birth of her twins four years prior, my tears started flowing and continued for the remainder of the film, the 20-minute trip home, and for awhile at home. I know a lot of things about a lot of things. Before Midnight bypassed my busy monkey brain and delved down into the deepest parts of me.

Sometimes we laugh at our younger selves -- those bold, confident, optimistic selves who have the world at their feet but don't know it. My younger self was sure about a hell of a lot of things.

Life is fragile. Love is wonderful, but it is hard work, n'est pas? I highly recommend this movie, especially for long-together couples who are still intentional about continuing to kindle the flames of their love.

Jesse and Celine are beautiful, and I am in awe of the truth and wisdom in this film. I want to travel, to speak what is true for me, and to banish fear from my life. Before Midnight spoke to my deepest heart.

Here is a very good review of Before Midnight.

Have you seen it? What films have spoken to your deepest heart?

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