Friday, February 20, 2015

What if we Still Received Report Cards?

What kind of grades did you get in school? In college? How important were grades to you?

Imagine if we still got graded as adults, receiving a report card periodically:

Here are my subjects/categories for this day:


  • Showering the people I love with love
  • Keeping Important Stuff from Becoming Urgent
  • Following the Path to Excellent Town
  • Living and Telling my Story
  • Being a Real Bunny
  • Stepping Over the Edge
  • Yowch!
  • Shipping News
  • Tiramisu for my Mind
  • Watching and Listening to Ahs for my Soul
  • Sharing like a Big Girl
  • All the Diamonds in This World
  • Be Careful, Little Hands, where you Put Your Stuff!
  • Doing the Best Version of the Job
  • Walking My Theory Feet into My Action Shoes
Maybe this is a different way to approach the values clarification discussion. I cared about my grades. They helped me see whether I was doing the work.

These days, teachers and professors clearly define what it takes to achieve a certain grade. I'm my own professor now. What would it take for me to get an A in my subjects? Here is my grading scale.

10 self-defined Standards per Category/Subject

Number Met
Grade
10
Yeah, BABY
8
Getting There
6
Meh
4
Uh
2
Let’s Try Hella Harder

Could this work? Would it be too cumbersome? Is it worth a try? [yes] The act of defining the standards in itself creates a more intentional lifestyle for me.

I decided to go ahead and create my lists for these categories. So, I'm trying to distract you in case you would rather not read them. They are probably not all that interesting to anyone besides me. You are welcome to read them for edification, education, erudition, exclamatory expressions, etc. But feel free to skip them as well.

What categories/subjects would you like to receive grades in?


Showering the people I love with love

Telling those I love that I love them, every day. 
Sending monthly letters and packages to my away loved ones.
Getting gifts and cards shipped and mailed in time to arrive on or before the special date.
Being on the lookout for small tokens/gifts to show my love and appreciation
Taking good care of myself; speaking well of myself
Receiving compliments graciously
Being affectionate with the ones I love; touching them
Keeping the pantry stocked with their favorite foods
Making sure the bathroom is clean
Getting up at a reasonable time and being productive

Keeping Important Stuff from Becoming Urgent

Bills are paid on or before their due date 100% of the time.
Online payments are initiated in time to process by the due date.
All tax payments and estimated taxes are paid by the due date.
Gifts and cards for special occasions are mailed/bought in plenty of time.
I complete jobs by the date I commit to
Arriving at appointments on time without speeding like a maniac
Allowing myself extra time to accomplish anything
Using the library without incurring fines.
Paying off credit cards every month
Grocery shopping on a set day every week.

Following the Path to Excellent Town

Doing the most I can in a situation
Making and keeping regular checkups
Making my bed every day
Taking pride in my appearance
Taking pride in my home
Eschewing all fast food, but especially Wendy's, Boston Market, Kroger fried chicken
Finding out how to clean my house efficiently and regularly, and doing it.
Overcoming set-down disease. 
Cleaning as I go.
Embracing the messiness of being human.

Living and Telling my Story

Blogging daily
Reading The Message of Me as committed
Setting goals for sharing my story in at least one speech
Connecting with a person face-to-face every week
Looking for opportunities to share my story
Finding a way to observe or practice improv
Act on impulses which urge me to action
Be willing to fail
Complete the storyline exercises
Write for a set time every day with butt in chair

Being a Real Bunny

Looking people in the eyes
Asking about their lives
Giving the person I am with my full attention
Keeping my phone away when I am with someone.
Saying yes when I mean yes.
Saying no when I mean no.
Acknowledging my feelings, aloud where appropriate.
Asking for what I need.
Being willing to receive help even if not at death's door.
Not engaging in activities I think I "should" do

Stepping Over the Edge

Saying yes when I mean yes
Saying no when I mean no
Acknowledging my feelings, aloud where appropriate
Asking for something I want without assurance of getting it
Shipping/blogging about things I am not completely comfortable with
Stepping boldly into bigger things as they arise
Finding times when I can do something other than play it safe
Trusting people I have been afraid to trust
Trying a new activity/group/way of thinking
Doing the most I can

Yowch!

Limiting or eliminating my cat naps
Making healthy choices about food
Going to bed and getting up at a set time
Fighting through negative thoughts to get to the positive ones
Saying no to what I need to say no to
Experimenting with outgoing behavior in group settings
Limiting or eliminating credit card use
When tempted to Fight or Flight, STAY and ENGAGE
Learning to delay gratification 100x better than I do it now, or
even 1/1000th better
Going outside and walking no matter the weather

Shipping News

Blogging every day
Getting the blanket supplies by March 1
Making a weighted blanket by March 15
Surveying moms of boys with Down syndrome about special clothing needs by March 1
Attend the Lifestream of SisterGiant (3/28-29/15)
Create list of 20 for ScaryClose group by March 8
37 Fling Boogie 3x week Feb 20-26, 2015
Revive profiles on elance and odesk by March 4
Create outline for Down syndrome presentation by April 1, 2015
Continue discussion with TL about creating Improv group

Tiramisu for my Mind

bloom, a memoir
The Message of You
What to Do When It's Your Turn
Infinite Jest
Blog posts by fellow UTYC members
Blog posts by Martha Beck, Geneen Roth,
Reading good stuff every day
Responding in writing to some of what I read
Do more creating than consuming
Read book club book and interact with it

Watching and Listening to Ahs for my Soul

Define what it means to feed my soul
Drunk Ex-Pastors every week
Marc Maron WTF podcast once a week
Limit episodes of Netflix shows to no more than two per day
Reflect on what I am listening and watching
Create a list of shows and movies worth watching for this purpose
Create a list of questions to ask about a show or movie
Write about my musings
Listen to ebooks and write reviews of them on Goodreads
Walking at the park and looking around me

Sharing like a Big Girl

Volunteering in Kepler's classroom
Spending quality time with Kepler doing the 3 r's
Help people throughout my day as I meet them
Do more creating than consuming
Celebrate others on social media
Ask my sisters and mom how I can support them
Reach out to JE on a daily basis
Continue discussion with TL about improv class
Blog daily
Contribute in the schools in the ways that nourish me as well

All the Diamonds in This World

Print out texts and comments that are meaningful and supportive
Freely ask for help even if not at death's door
Say yes to generosity from others
Drink in compliments
Receiving with gratitude the lessons the School of Life presents me with every day
Trust that others can be responsible for their own feelings
Focus on the joy that DB gets out of clearing our driveway
Keep the good energy moving -- take it in, give it out
Asking for what I need or want
Stepping boldly into bigger things as they arise

Be Careful, Little Hands, where you Put Your Stuff!

Manage clerty clothes by hanging, laundering, or folding
Keeping track of charging cords, lip balm, glasses, purse
Regular joyful clearing space for joy by decluttering
Processing email every day for [20] minutes (OHIO)
Pick up living room every day -- have Kepler help
Share my extra things with others
Create to-go lists/bags for each outing, esp for Kepler
Fix house stuff within one month of noticing, or have plan by then
Clean: K-Mon, LD-Tues, FStrs-Wed, OK-Thurs, MBR-Fri, Ba-Sat
Laundry start to finish one day per week

Doing the Best Version of the Job

Putting folded clothes away where they belong
Washing up the broiler and griddle same day
Create and use OHIO system for my paperwork
Practice making decisions NOW
Schedule my day a little more
Do the work (It's always my turn)
Persevere and finish what I start
Put my stuff away when I come in the house, first thing
A place for [every]thing and [every]thing in its place
Spend time thinking about what result I want

Walking My Theory Feet into My Action Shoes

Actually do the things on my list of things that make me feel better
Fulfill what I commit myself to
Take care of myself by scheduling appts for myself and kids
Have a spending plan and carefully adhere to it
Find my yes in the uncomfortable no's
Do what it takes to stay in a good brain space
Commit to paper the results that I want
Let go of something every Friday
Practice Making Decisions NOW
Join the Mobius of Giving/Receiving




5 comments:

linensandlaurel said...

Such a carefully thought out post with actionable items and topics for future posts. I certainly can relate to the desire to pay attention to almost everything on there. Bravo!

sghilliard said...

I agree with Nancy, I see a lot on this list that I want to work on myself. I have a question and a comment:
1) I'm curious about the "OHIO method", can you tell us more?
2) I always feel like a downer when I say things like this, but David Allen (GTD guru) says our lists either repel us or attract us, and that can depend on whether we're clear and comfortable with the items on the list. One sign of that for me is when something stays unfinished on the list for months and months--if I'm really honest with myself I find that's because I don't know how to do it, or I really don't want to do it, or "it" is a vague concept, not an actionable item. Most of yours seem actionable, just something to think about. Thanks for sharing!

Susan Taylor said...

Thank you, Nancy. I see my distraction image didn't deter you. :-) Also, thank you for the suggestion about future posts. I hadn't thought of that!

Susan Taylor said...

Thank you for commenting, Steve. I really appreciate what you said about lists. I was always a list maker and then heard someone talk about some downsides of lists, and I bought into their idea. I know exactly what you mean about things that remain on the lists for months. I (actually we) have a few house things on the list that have actually been on there for YEARS. And the reasons are exactly that either we don't know HOW to fix them, don't WANT to fix them, or they haven't been broken down enough to figure out where to start.

There are definitely items on my list that are not actionable. As I read through the list over and over as I was creating, I was thinking that there would no doubt need to be some refinement on some of the items. I thought maybe having them on there would at least keep them in the forefront of my mind. I am a SERIOUS "out of sight, out of mind" kind of gal.

OHIO means "Only Handle It Once." Thanks to your excellent post about GTD, I did create a system last night that helps me at least only handle it three times, as opposed to the infinite number of times I have been picking stuff up and putting it down, not knowing where to begin. I think the original idea is in reference to paper, so it encourage people to put the mail directly where it goes -- trash, recycling, file, whatever -- rather than setting it back down ("set-down disease") and having to start again the next time you see that piece of paper.

Patrick Smith said...

Susan you get a 10+++ for even thinking this way, another 10+++ for putting it out there. Now I think we both need to get back to creating.